Sheffield United are contenders for the worst Premier League team ever
Never has something so pretty to watch as Arsenal in full flight been so ugly to experience
March 5, 2024 7:27 am(Updated 7:28 am)
BRAMALL LANE â Shortly before half-time, Arsenalâs Bukayo Saka attempted a shot from the edge of the area that curled high and wide of Ivo Grbicâs goal. Several Sheffield United season ticket holders used the chance to sarcastically mock Saka and Arsenal for failing to score a sixth goal. Thirty minutes later, they were olĂ©-ing their own team completing four passes. At least they could still see the funny side.
This was the night to end all nights for the worst team in the Premier League this season and a contender for the worst of all time. Campaigns like these do not end with whimpers, but with thousands of supporters standing in your away end telling you that they will score in a minute and being proven right. Twice.
Never has something so pretty to watch been so ugly to experience. Fans started streaming out of the home sections after 15 minutes and another spurt left every time they conceded thereafter. By the time of Arsenalâs sixth, barely half the seats were filled.
The pre-match mood was one of aggressive patronising. Around the Bramall Lane pitch and in the gantry of the South Stand, you couldnât move for a pundit uttering the phrase âno disrespect to Sheffield United, butâŠâ, subsequently followed by something disrespectful. OK, it was all well-judged: Sheffield United are the first ever English league team to concede five goals in four straight home games.
Recently, Chris Wilder has been just about trying to pretend that he believes in some mad miracle, an entire reversal of everything that has happened over the last six months despite none of the circumstances changing one bit. Not now â how could you? In his programme notes, the Sheffield United manager spoke of Arsenal being enjoyable to watch even when youâre facing them and having to sit back to admire them. I donât think that was intended as a tactical strategy.
Nobody believes in anything at all now. This team has been broken in so many different ways â a lack of transfer activity, the wrong transfer activity, defensive mistakes, failure to create chances, a lack of Âcohesion, a lack of quality, going back to the manager who had failed twice since he got sacked before. There is nothing left but empty hearts and minds that buzz with thoughts of how things just keep getting worse.
Even by those standards, this was appalling. Arsenal scored after less than five minutes and yet a goal had been coming for three of them. They scored the same type of goal four times, a cutback from a player in too much space to either another player in too much space or a ÂSheffield United player who scored an own goal. Auston Trusty lasted 16 minutes at left-back; Oliver Norwood lasted 16 minutes in total before being dragged off. You at least expect a little pride; supporters were treated to meek acquiescence.
Over the last two months, as ÂArsenal have scored freely and Âconceded barely a shot in anger, a pattern of criticising their opponents has emerged that Mikel Arteta might believe fails to fully appreciate the scale of the consistent excellence produced against them.
We must not make the same Âmistake. Arsenal were as magic as United were tragic, a relentless wave of neon-shirted energy and pressure and passing triangles that penned in their opponents and robbed them of possession and made creating chances both very easy and a deeply pleasing aesthetic experience, like watching someone complete Tetris at double speed. They are the real deal, title victory or otherwise.
These are two teams in the same league only on a technicality, proof of the vast gaps that exist in ÂEnglish footballâs top flight and the grim price those promoted clubs who make serious mistakes will pay along their way back down. There is no shame in losing to this Arsenal, even a little like this. But shame is all ÂSheffield United can feel right now.
